The dossier
Appearance: Uncle Mac is the chestnut-brown one with the fur kept short and tidy on top, silver at his temples and a neat silver goatee. He wears a green-and-white hooped Celtic scarf, a slightly rumpled jacket and a stripy tie, and he has the sort of face you feel you have known for years. You haven’t. He just has that quality.
Personality: He is, by a mile, the friendliest Toe Monster. Yes, friendliness is ten out of ten. We checked twice, and the second time he made us a cup of tea. Every so often a child wanders into the cave by mistake. This is unlikely, but it does happen. Uncle Mac is the one who spots them first, pops a lantern in their hand, and ushers them gently back out into the moonlight before Granny Enid can warm up the barbecue or Professor Spin can find his clipboard. He does this quietly. The others have not noticed. Please do not tell them.
Cave Life: Uncle Mac’s cave is the warm one near the entrance. There is always a fire going, a spare chair, and a lantern by the door “just in case”. The walls are covered in green pennants and a framed map of Scotland with a big circle round Loch Ness and a wobbly arrow pointing the wrong way, towards Glasgow.
Fun Fact: Uncle Mac supports Celtic. He once set off to visit the Loch Ness Monster, took a wrong turn, and ended up at a Celtic match. He has never quite explained how. He has also never been to Loch Ness. The rest, as he says, is history.
Warning: If you find yourself in the Toe Monsters’ cave and a kindly monster in a green-and-white scarf hands you a lantern and points at the exit, do exactly what he says. Do not stop to look at the barbecue. And if he asks whether you have ever been to Glasgow, just say yes.
