Toe MonstersCheddar Gorge · specimen files

Warning · vegan · with exactly one exception

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Specimen file · No. 08 of 21

McDwayne

The vegan comic who likes a laugh

  • Ginger, silver beard
  • Born performer
  • Habitat: classified
  • Six scores
McDwayne, the vegan comic who likes a laugh
Specimen No. 08 · photographed at a safe distance
No. 08Top scores

The Monster Meter

Six scores out of ten. We measured very carefully and only had to run away twice.

  • Size8/10
  • Friendliness7/10
  • Appetite6/10
  • Cleverness9/10
  • Sneakiness6/10
  • Quirkiness10/10

Note: yes, quirkiness really is 10 out of 10. We checked twice and stood well back.

The dossier

Appearance: McDwayne is a charismatic Toe Monster with vibrant ginger fur and a distinguished silver beard. His lively appearance matches his energetic personality, making him one of the most entertaining members of the Toe Monster community.

Personality: McDwayne is a natural performer, with a love for singing, telling jokes, and acting. His stage presence is unmatched, and he’s always ready to put on a show. Interestingly, McDwayne is also a vegan, avoiding meat and dairy products – except, of course, for his one weakness: children’s toes.

Cave Life: McDwayne’s cave is a theatrical wonderland. At its heart is a stage where he performs his songs, comedy routines, and dramatic acts. The stage is equipped with lights and props, creating a professional performance space.

When he’s not entertaining, McDwayne enjoys knitting and crocheting. His cave is adorned with his handmade creations, adding a cosy and colourful touch to his performance space. Yarn and knitting needles are scattered around, showcasing his artistic talents beyond the stage.

Fun Fact: Despite his Toe Monster nature, McDwayne’s vegan lifestyle sets him apart. His dedication to veganism is so strong that he gives captured children a chance to escape. If they can tell him a joke that makes him laugh, he sets them free, proving that humour can indeed save the day.

Warning: Children, if you hear singing or laughter coming from a cave, it’s likely McDwayne putting on a show. While his performances are captivating, remember that he’s still a Toe Monster. Brush up on your best jokes just in case you find yourself in his audience – it might just be your ticket to freedom!

Habitat survey

Inside McDwayne’s cave

Somewhere in Cheddar Gorge — the exact spot is a secret, and the cave has an inconvenient habit of not being where it was — this is home.

Inside McDwayne’s cave in Cheddar Gorge
McDwayne at home. The show starts whether you like it or not.

Other specimens on file

Twenty more are on file, each with their own six scores and a full dossier. Read them all — carefully, and from a distance.

See all twenty-one monsters