The Legend of the Toe Monsters of Cheddar Gorge

Do Toe Monsters really exist?

Probably, but no one really knows for sure. Legend has it that the Toe Monsters live in Cheddar Gorge, in England, near the historic cities of Bath and Bristol. They don’t like humans, so tend to hide in their caves, unless, of course, they’re hungry; especially if they’ve missed breakfast. This is why not many people have seen them, and those who have, especially children, usually aren’t alive to tell the tale!

How were the Toe Monsters created?

Cheddar Gorge is famous for making cheese. The town makes the best known, and tastiest, cheese in the entire world. It’s even better than French cheese, even the stinky ones.

For eons, the cheesemakers of Cheddar have stored their truckles in caves. This is because in ancient times there were no refrigerators or coolers; they didn’t even have electricity! The deep caves offer a cold place to safely store cheese so that they can mature and develop their distinctive taste that makes them so delicious and yummy.

Every now and again, even in the cool environment of a cave, something goes wrong. According to local myths, a few centuries ago, one particularly large lump of cheese got wet, became mouldy, and eventually turned radioactive. Unfortunately, some unexpecting rabbits ate the nuclear cheese. This caused them to mutate into the Toe Monsters.

What do the Toe Monsters look like?

The Toe Monsters are much larger than normal rabbits, they stand about five feet tall. They can walk on two legs like humans, or, if they want to move quickly, can run on all fours to chase down pesky intruders.

The mutation changed the colour of their fur. They are now brightly coloured. Radiation does this. The Toe Monsters rarely leave their cave. This is because they love cheese, who doesn’t?  However, every now and again they venture out to explore. This normally happens when they smell stinky toes. The only odour they prefer to Cheddar is cheesy feet.

Children should be careful, especially on a hot day. If they go out into the countryside, or even their gardens, without shoes and socks on. The Toe Monsters will track them down and eat them.

The Hungry Seven

From time to time the Toe Monsters have been spotted by locals or unlucky tourists. Details are sketchy, but this is what we know. New Toe Monsters are being discovered all the time, but we only here about them if children have clean feet or are wearing shoes. We do know of the Hungry Seven, as listed below. Rumours of other Toe Monsters, and the little information we do know, can be found on the Toe Monsters Profiles page.

Where is the Toe Monsters’ Cave?

It’s a secret. No one knows for sure. If the police did know they would have arrested the Toe Monsters decades ago. It’s rumoured to be magical. The few survivors who have seen it are usually unable to remember its location. Probably because they were too busy running for their lives to concentrate on anything else!

One witness, a schoolgirl called Georgie, returned to where she thought it was. She was accompanied by a small army of soldiers, who brought a couple of tanks and lots of big guns.  To Georgie’s embarrassment, despite being in the “right place,” she couldn’t find the cave. It had disappeared. All she remembers is that it looked like a giant mouth, with big scary teeth.

Georgie – eye witness and survivor

Katey – eye witness and survivor

Kobe – Toe Monster sceptic

Cameron – eye witness and survivor

How to escape the Toe Monsters

There are a few ways to evade capture and avoid being eaten:

1. Wear shoes and socks when going into your garden or walking in the countryside.
2. Wash your feet – Toe Monsters love smelly toes, the cheesier the better!
3. Carry some cheese in your pocket. If you meet a Toe Monster, it might just save your life.
4. If you meet a blue Toe Monster, it’s probably Uncle Daz, so whisper a friendly greeting.
5. Eat lots of fresh vegetables, especially broccoli. We’re not sure why, but it helps.